Do you know what “personal property” is? These are lawyer words for your stuff — the old chair from your Aunt Molly, the stamp collection that you and your son have been working on over the years, your computer, your tools. Some of it is valuable; some is junk. (The term “personal property” also includes cash, stocks and automobiles, but this article will discuss only the type of personal property you might see at a garage sale or on eBay.) We are so attached to our stuff that it is often difficult to deal with it in the divorce; sometimes it is more of a problem to handle than the bigger assets, such as the sale of the house with division of the proceeds.

Be smart for yourself — don’t spend more time or money on dividing your stuff than it’s worth. Definitely do not pay lawyers to deal with this, or get written appraisals from expensive experts unless you have personal property of exceptional value. Those techniques almost always make things worse instead of better, and often you’ll end up overpaying your spouse for some things you didn’t really want. If you and your spouse are somewhat cooperative, try the following six techniques, or a combination of them. The first five are free:

1. Post-its. Flip a coin for first choice, get two colors of Post-its, and together go through the entire house using an alternate choice technique. Put one Post-it on one item, another Post-it on another item and so on, until everything is chosen. Make a two-column list of the result of your choices. Result: probably a roughly equal division of your personal property.

2. Alternating choice from one written list of all of the personal property. After your list has been made, flip a coin for first choice, and use an alternate choice technique. Put your initials on one item at a time, until everything is chosen. Make a two-column list of the result of your choices. Result: probably a roughly equal division of your personal property.

3. Same as number two above but make list comprised of the whole rooms in your house. Example: Contents of den (if you want the stereo and computer); contents of kitchen (if you want the dishes); contents of garage (if you want the tools). Result: a roughly equal division of your personal property.

4. One spouse makes a two-column list of all of the property, allocating approximately half of everything to each list. The other spouse chooses which list he or she wants. Or, if you prefer, flip a coin for which person gets the first choice of the two lists. Result: a roughly equal division of your personal property.

5. Make an offer to the other side to “purchase” their interest in certain property, for an amount of cash or equivalent property. What’s important here is to use garage-sale value, not replacement of the item if purchased new.

Here are some basic personal property rules you should know:

• Any personal property purchased with money earned by either spouse during the marriage is community property and is owned equally by the spouses.
• Personal property owned by you before marriage is your separate property, and doesn’t have to be divided; it will be confirmed to you as your own separate property in the settlement document.
• Property given to you individually during marriage, or at any time, by gift or inheritance is your separate property and doesn’t have to be divided. This includes a gift given to you by your spouse.
• Property purchased with your earnings after physical separation is your separate property and doesn’t have to be divided.

The sixth technique. If you and your spouse are not communicating well and cannot do one or a combination of the above five techniques, you need some professional help; call me and I can get you unstuck in this important area. I will help you to understand the law as it applies to you, and give you great, common-sense ideas on how to settle these issues. Of course, I can help you with the bigger questions, too — but they may be easier to deal with!